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Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now, by Gordon Livingston
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After service in Vietnam, as a surgeon for the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment in 1968-69, at the height of the war, Dr. Gordon Livingston returned to the U.S. and began work as a psychiatrist. In that capacity, he has listened to people talk about their lives-what works, what doesn't, and the limitless ways (many of them self-inflicted) that people find to be unhappy. He is also a parent twice bereaved; in one thirteen-month period, he lost his eldest son to suicide, his youngest to leukemia. Out of a lifetime of experience, Gordon Livingston has extracted thirty bedrock truths: We are what we do. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Only bad things happen quickly. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. Livingston illuminates these and twenty-four others in a series of carefully hewn, perfectly calibrated essays, many of which focus on our closest relationships and the things that we do to impede or, less frequently, enhance them. Again and again, these essays underscore that “we are what we do,” and that while there may be no escaping who we are, we have the capacity to face loss, misfortune, and regret and to move beyond them-that it is not too late. Full of things we may know but have not articulated to ourselves, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart offers solace, guidance, and hope to everyone ready to become the person they'd most like to be.
- Sales Rank: #27027 in Books
- Brand: Da Capo Press
- Published on: 2008-03-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.25" h x 5.00" w x .75" l, .41 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 192 pages
- Great product!
From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. The gentle, even-keeled warmth of Livingston's prose distinguishes this slim book of 30 inspirational "truths." A psychiatrist familiar with trauma from both his practice and his life (in one 13-month period, he lost one son to leukemia and another to suicide), Livingston offers the kind of wisdom that feels simultaneously commonsensical and revelatory: "We are what we do," "The perfect is the enemy of the good," "The major advantage of illness is relief from responsibility." He intersperses counsel with personal experience, and tackles topics both joyful and deeply painful. In the chapter focusing on "We are what we do," he notes that the "three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to," and he reminds us that "love is demonstrated behaviorally"-that is, actions count more than words. In his discussion of "Happiness is the greatest risk," he considers how our fear of losing happiness is often a roadblock to our experiencing it. For those contemplating suicide, he writes that "it is reasonable to confront them with the selfishness and anger implied in any act of self-destruction." Livingston's words feel true, and his wisdom hard-earned. Among the many blithe and hollow self-help books available everywhere, this book stands out as a jewel.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
"The slim book by Columbia-based psychiatrist Gordon Livingston has been a source of inspiration for many."--"Baltimore Sun" 4/13/08
"The author creates an aura of wisdom about a great many things."
"Baltimore Sun" 4/13/08
"The slim book by Columbia-based psychiatrist Gordon Livingston has been a source of inspiration for many."
"Baltimore Sun" 4/13/08
"The slim book by Columbia-based psychiatrist Gordon Livingston has been a source of inspiration for many."
"The author creates an aura of wisdom about a great many things."
Quincy Jones, "Details" Online
"I'm just a musician and a record producer. I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't understand all that stuff. We all got problems. But there's a great book out called "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart." Did you see that? That book says the statute of limitations has expired on all childhood traumas. Get your stuff together and get on with your life, man."
"Arkansas Democrat-Gazette," 1/20/2010
"Delightful."
"Palm Beach Post," 11/28/10
"A book I not only like but respect."
"Palm Beach"" Post," 12/9/10
"[An] excellent self-help book."
"Baltimore Sun" 4/13/08
The slim book by Columbia-based psychiatrist Gordon Livingston has been a source of inspiration for many.
The author creates an aura of wisdom about a great many things.
Quincy Jones, "Details" Online
I'm just a musician and a record producer. I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't understand all that stuff. We all got problems. But there's a great book out called "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart." Did you see that? That book says the statute of limitations has expired on all childhood traumas. Get your stuff together and get on with your life, man.
"Arkansas Democrat-Gazette," 1/20/2010
Delightful.
"Palm Beach Post," 11/28/10
A book I not only like but respect.
"Palm Beach"" Post," 12/9/10
[An] excellent self-help book. "
About the Author
Gordon Livingston, M.D., a graduate of West Point and the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, has been a physician since 1967. He is a psychiatrist and writer who contributes frequently to the Washington Post, San Francisco Chronicle, Baltimore Sun, and Reader's Digest. Awarded the Bronze Star for valor in Vietnam, he is the author of two other books, And Never Stop Dancing and Only Spring: On Mourning the Death of My Son. He lives and works in Columbia, Maryland.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Cynicism wrapped with motivational tropes and contradiction.
By D. Ciccone
At first I was inspired, except maybe the part where the author suggests that joining the military and going off to war is right of passage. But as the chapters wear on they become darker, more cynical, and by the end complaints without solutions.
There's an ongoing theme of risktaking that while applicable to things like getting outside of a comfort zone should not include stupid risks or the ol' "we're all gonna die some day might as well not be afraid of nothin'" way of thinking.
Don't be scared of child predators, instead, consentrate on global warming. He lost me at change the work with hope but love is just a temporary insanity.
The author seems the type of man who has nothing left to lose, so risk to him is easy. Like he can't wait to die, so long as the way he dies has meaning.
Some chapters discuss his personal life without offering any connection to anything particularly useful to the reader other than instilling a sense of hopeless non-control over our lives or others.
Tragedy tends to turn sufferers altruistic and I'm not sure the author is as self aware as he seems to think he is.
I mean I'd never get married after reading this book since it insists that the chances of two people coexisting peacefully together for a long period of time is roughly the equivalent of successfully navigating an asteroid field.
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Too dismissive of depression and childhood trauma
By B. T. Conway
I have no argument with the readers who have found this book to be helpful--that is a good thing. My concern is for the people who suffer from depression and childhood trauma--change does not come easily for these people and some of the attitudes expressed by the author come across as too much of a "snap out of it" or "just move on" sort of thing. That sort of thing only adds to their pain. Current brain imaging technology has shown how real the effects of trauma are. I wish the author had shown more of a sense of empathy.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A simple book with big lessons
By AJ Mac
Don't read this in one or two sittings, even though you could. Read a chapter a day and reflect on what it means and how you can apply it to your life. The lessons seem easy but most are not. The author has many black and white judgements which probably should be more gray but his many points are well taken.
Some things he points out are painful, some will make you laugh, others will make you sad, but all can make you think. I will put this on my shelf and re-read in 6-12 months, as I want to be reminded of its valuable lessons.
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